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How To Find Balance In Your Life

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How To Find Balance In Your Life

Life is busy. Sometimes, it can become overwhelming. Between careers, friends, family, jobs, relationships, and self, it can be hard to find time for everyone and everything and learn how to balance your life. It can often seem like you just can’t win.

If you spend too much time with at work, your family suffers. If you ignore your friends and devote all of your time to your children, they might feel hurt and alienate you. Your partner may complain that you don’t spend enough time with him or her. And then you the gym, band practice, that class, or other activities that you do for yourself.

It can be really overwhelming and seem impossible.

It’s not easy finding balance. There are ways that you can learn to balance your life. Learning how to do so will not only reduce the amount of stress and anxiety you feel, it will help you live a healthier life as well. All of your relationships and hard work will benefit from learning to find balance. Here are some tips.

  1. Don’t spend all of your time on just one task or person. In other words, it is not healthy to spend all of your time working, leaving you no time for family, socializing or relaxation. Similarly, if you spend all of your time with your children, and forget to nurture your marriage or friendships, you are harming yourself in the long run.
  2. Make a visual pie chart of all your obligations and how much time you spend on each. If one seems too small or another too large, start making changes so they become more equal and balanced. Sometimes the visual helps you realize things you weren’t able to see before.
  3. Be assertive. If someone is demanding too much from you, learn to speak up and say that you need time for yourself, other people and other commitments. Any job or relationship worth saving is one where this won’t be an issue. Remove needy and toxic people from your life. Speak up at work and in your home.
  4. Learn to say NO. You do not have to be the soccer team manager, and bake the cupcakes from scratch, and be the class mom, and serve on every committee, and take on extra tasks at work. “No” must become your mantra. You are just one person, and you can only do so much. Yes, you should try to stay involved and do some interesting things. No, that does not mean you need to do everything. Pick and choose only things that are meaningful to you. There is simply no time for anything else.
  5. Let go of guilt. Your partner or family will be okay without you sometimes. Go ahead and stay home and relax, or go somewhere that you enjoy for some time to yourself. It’s healthy for everyone to have priorities, limits and boundaries. Your needs are important. You will be a better parent, employee and partner if you take better care of yourself.
  6. Plan some family time. This gets harder and harder as your children get older, but having dinner together every Sunday or something consistent like that allows everyone to rely on having special time carved out. As they get older and move out on their own, this ritual becomes even more important. Your family will know they are important to you, and they will have the support and safety of knowing your family is connected.
  7. Schedule some time for yourself and write it in your calendar like an appointment. If anyone asks anything of you during that time, just say that you already have plans. Because you do! You are as important as everyone and everything else that you have going on. Don’t forget.

If you are able to master these tips and incorporate them into your life, you will find great happiness and success. You will be better able to manage working, children and family. You will be more productive, happier and healthier. What more could anyone want?

 

 

Lori Freson Lori Freson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Southern California. She has been working in the mental health field since 1997, and has been a licensed therapist since 2002. Lori currently works in her own thriving private practice in Encino and Sherman Oaks, where she serves the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles areas.
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