If you drive a car, sooner or later your child will expect to drive one too. For most teens, the day they can legally drive is the moment they want to get behind the wheel. How can you make certain your child is ready when that time comes?

First, learning to drive starts now, no matter how old your child is. As you drive through town, with your child in the backseat, talk about the rules of the road as they come up. Notice the signs and talk about what they mean. Talking about driving starts long before your child is tall enough to see over the steering wheel.

As soon as your child is old enough to sit in the passenger seat, that’s where he should sit at least some of the time. Now your driving conversations get more specific, as you point out possible hazards and how you handle them. Get your child thinking about driving, watching the traffic, and helping you notice dodgy situations.

Second, make it clear to your child long before he turns 16, that driving is a privilege that carries with it some heavy responsibilities. Driving is not a right. Let him know that you will be watching for signals that he’s ready to drive a car and that when you see he’s ready you will agree to let him learn.

At the same time, don’t make learning to drive an exercise in extortion. Don’t make your permission dependent on getting straight As in school or setting other impossibly high standards as a prerequisite to learning to drive. Be fair and treat your child fairly.

Remember that driving is a complex skill and it takes lots of practice to get good enough at it to be safe. This means that even if your child takes driver’s ed in school or gets private lessons, you will still have to help her practice driving as much as possible. The more situations, the more weather, the more sorts of roadways your child drives under your watchful eye, the better.

Keep your eye on the law. Be careful to get things off on the right foot by keeping your child out from behind the wheel until he’s legally allowed to get a learner’s permit. Once your child gets his license, pay attention to the limitations your state puts on teen drivers. In most states, new drivers are not allowed to drive after dark or to drive with other teens in the car. Make certain your child follows the law – and make certain he knows the law even if he’s just riding while a friend drives.

Finally, as always, model what you want to see, even if you don’t want to see it for another five years. Now is the time to be mindful of your own driving, so your children see the best possible example. Don’t use your cell phone when you drive and avoid other distractions, like hunting for something on the floor while you go down the road. Always use your seat belt. Don’t speed. Come to a full stop at stop signs. Do not put yourself in the position later of having to insist on rules your child thinks you yourself ignore.

When it comes to preparing a child to learn to drive, “Do as I do and do as I say,” is the safest way. Start modeling good driving now and start talking about good driving. No matter how young your child is now, the time to start driver’s ed is today.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Look for free downloads on Dr. Anderson’s website at www.patricianananderson.com.

If you drive a car, sooner or later your child will expect to drive one too. For most teens, the day they can legally drive is the moment they want to get behind the wheel. How can you make certain your child is ready when that time comes?

First, learning to drive starts now, no matter how old your child is. As you drive through town, with your child in the backseat, talk about the rules of the road as they come up. Notice the signs and talk about what they mean. Talking about driving starts long before your child is tall enough to see over the steering wheel.

As soon as your child is old enough to sit in the passenger seat, that’s where he should sit. Now your driving conversations get more specific, as you point out possible hazards and how you handle them. Get your child thinking about driving, watching the traffic, and helping you notice dodgy situations.

Second, make it clear to your child long before he turns 16, that driving is a privilege that carries with it some heavy responsibilities. It’s not a right. Let him know that you will be watching for signals that he’s ready to drive a car and that when you see he’s ready you will agree to let him learn.

At the same time, don’t make learning to drive an exercise in extortion. Don’t make your permission dependent on getting straight As in school or setting other impossibly high standards as a prerequisite to learning to drive. Be fair and treat your child fairly.

Remember that driving is a complex skill and it takes lots of practice to get good enough at it to be safe. This means that even if your child takes driver’s ed in school or gets private lessons, you will still have to help her practice driving as much as possible. The more situations, the more weather, the more sorts of roadways your child drives under your watchful eye, the better.

Keep your eye on the law. Be careful to get things off on the right foot by keeping your child out from behind the wheel until he’s legally allowed to get a learner’s permit. Once your child gets his license, pay attention to the limitations your state puts on teen drivers. In most states, new drivers are not allowed to drive after dark or to drive with other teens in the car. Make certain your child follows the law – and make certain he knows the law even if he’s just riding while a friend drives.

Finally, as always, model what you want to see… even if you don’t want to see it for another five years. Now is the time to be mindful of your own driving, so your children see the best possible example. Don’t use your cell phone when you drive and avoid other distractions, like hunting for something on the floor while you go down the road. Don’t speed. Come to a full stop at stop signs. Do not put yourself in the position later of having to insist on rules your child thinks you yourself ignore.

When it comes to preparing a child to learn to drive, “Do as I do and do as I say,” is the safest way. Start modeling good driving now and start talking about good driving. No matter how young your child is now, the time to start driver’s ed is today.

© 2012, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved.

If you’re the parent of a new driver – a teen somewhere between the ages of 16 and 18 – you’ve noticed there’s an awful lot of information your kid needs to learn in order to be safe on the road. And even though most states have instituted graduated license laws, to keep the youngest drivers out of the most dangerous situations, auto accidents still are a leading cause of death and injury in the teen years.

Parents of teen drivers have to uphold the limits of a child’s license, and not permit driving at night, driving with lots of passengers, or keeping the cell phone on while driving. You’ve got to be strict to get your point across. And you’ve got to model good driving yourself. There’s not much more you can do.

But if you’re the parent of a young teen, you’ve got a few more options. The time to teach your child to drive is long before she’s old enough to sit behind the wheel. Here are some ways to do that:

1. Talk out loud about your decision-making. As you drive past a line of parked cars, say that you’re watching out for people who might open a car door unexpectedly. When you notice brake lights ahead of you, tell how that alerts you to slow down. You make a lot of automatic decisions that your pre-teen has no knowledge of. Share that knowledge.

2. Be explicit about the rules of driving. When you come to a four-way stop, tell what the rule is for how to proceed. Talk about the rule of pulling over when an emergency vehicle approaches. Talk about the meaning of different road signs. Be observant of the rules yourself and don’t give the impression that observing these is optional.

3. Let your child be your co-pilot. Assuming your child is big enough to sit in the passenger seat safely, let him ride shotgun and help make driving decisions. The teen who never sat in the front seat before sitting in the driver’s seat has a huge gap in his understanding. Give your young teen the advantage of years of “job shadowing” of an experienced driver.

4. Model good driving practices. If you tend to drive over the speed limit, now is the time to slow down. If you’re tempted to use your cell phone, now is the time to pull over before using picking it up. If you often drive aggressively, say rude things about other drivers, or try to “teach other people a lesson” stop, stop, stop while your kid is in the car. Being a parent is about being a better person than you’ve ever been before and that’s never so true as now, when you’re trying to demonstrate how to drive.

Make no mistake: under no circumstance should you actually let your under-age child drive a car, not even to the end of a long driveway to get the mail. Waiting makes the privilege of driving more sweet and enforces the seriousness of operating a potentially-deadly machine.

But waiting to teach your child to drive until she’s actually old enough for a learner’s permit limits the time available to teach all you’d like her to know. Give yourself more time. Start teaching your child to drive right now.

© 2012, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved.