Children are natural scientists. Their curiosity and wonder about the world around them provides fertile ground for learning. Stargazing is a beautiful opportunity to teach your child about the world around you. Sitting under the stars offers you the opportunity to just do nothing in particular, to simply sit, talk, and ultimately connect with your family. Whether you have a budding astronaut, wannabe astronomer, or simply a Star Wars fan (or two) in your family, stargazing is for you. Kids will be mesmerized by the majestic night sky and love learning how to identify constellations, planets, stars, and galaxies.

Make the Time

Stargazing requires some preplanning. Choose a night where your child will be able to stay up later than usual and hopefully they can sleep-in a little later the next morning. If you live in an area with a fair amount of light pollution set your sights on an area outside of the city lights, then hit the road. If you are looking for a place with dark sky check out the International Dark Sky Association’s Dark Sky Finder.

Set the Mood

Creating a relaxing and cozy setting is key to a great night of stargazing. A large blanket, or reclining beach chairs, are perfect for a night under the stars. A planisphere and guidebooks from the local library are perfect tools for finding and naming constellations. Snacks are another important part of a fun family night. Moonpies, Star Crunches, and Milky Way candy bars are perfect store bought treats, but you can also rename almost any snack with a space theme: Cosmic Crackers, Galaxy Cookies, Martian Milk, etc.

While stargazing in the summer is probably the most comfortable, don’t forget the other seasons!  Early winter nights are ideal for children who have earlier bedtimes. Just put on your winter gear and don’t forget the hot chocolate!

Be Prepared

Being realistic about your expectations is crucial for a successful night of stargazing. For the littlest members of your family simply watching the sky and singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” might be the extent of their attention span. Stargazing is a perfect time for storytelling. To keep your kiddos occupied and interested as you stargaze try checking your local library for several age-appropriate books. Just don’t forget a flashlight.

When planning for your night there are a multitude of resources for seeing what is visible in your area at any given time. Making a plan with your family of what you hope to see is a great way to set yourself up for success. A few great, free, apps for a night of stargazing are: Star Chart, NASA, Night Sky Lite, and Sky View Free. NASA Kids Club is another great resource as you plan your evening.

As you lie under that dark sky, contemplating the vastness of space, don’t forget to hug your children tight and remind them that they are the most important thing to you in this entire universe.

Summer is here! There are few things better on a hot summer day than jumping into a cool swimming pool. Many of my greatest childhood memories involve community and backyard swimming pools. If you are looking for a fun way to spend a hot summer day, a day at the pool should be in your future.

Where to Go

For those of us who don’t have our own backyard pools, community pools can be a dream come true. Some communities have public city or regional pools, where as many others have membership-based pools. If you aren’t a member of a pool a quick search online can help you find pools in your area. A few phone calls can help you find a pool that has single-day passes. In looking at pools ask about each pool’s supervision (number of lifeguards, requirements for independent swimmers, etc.), keep your child/children’s swimming ability in mind as you think about the level of supervision that they may require.

What to Pack

There are the obvious, non-negotiables for all pool bags: sunscreen, towel, and sunglasses. Be sure to pack an extra bottle of sunscreen, I always seem to find myself squeezing the last drops out of my bottle. An extra bottle on hand ensures no pink cheeks or sunburnt backs.

A few other suggestions for things that I keep in my bag are:

The Right Gear– My older boys are competent swimmers, but when they were younger I researched flotation options. Talk with a local retailer, or research online,  life jackets, swim vests, and the popular combination life jacket, swim aid, and swim vest. For my baby a great baby float, especially those with canopies, are an amazing investment.

Rash Guard- Life changed when I bought long sleeve rash guards for each of my kiddos. Sunscreen became less of a chore seeing as how nearly half of their bodies are completely covered. It also makes me less anxious about sun exposure.

Pool Toys-The last thing that you want to do is lug a big chest of toys to the pool, but a few smart toys can make a pool day. I limit my kiddos to one or two pieces of gear each. My older son likes a fun set of diving sticks that he received as a birthday present, whereas my preschooler likes toys that squirt. All toys must fit into my bag otherwise I spend more time getting ready for a day at the pool than actually being in the water.

Snacks and Drinks– Something about the combination of water and sunshine brings makes my kiddos hungry. I let my older kiddos choose a few snacks to put in my pool bag. Our rule is at least one health(ier) snack must go in the bag. Each child also has their own reusable water bottle. It’s easier for each child to track down their own bottle than for me to lug disposable water bottles.

Baby Wipes– No matter the age of my children (or spouse) we seem to use baby wipes. They’re a pool bag staple.

A day at the pool can be a memorable day for the whole family. Set yourself up for success by choosing the right location and packing the right gear.

“Mommy, I’m scared.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“I don’t know.”

My eyes adjust in the darkness and I see the glow of the digital clock beside the bed: 3:12 am. 

The tiny pajama-clad figure whose face is only inches away from mine was tucked carefully in her bed a few hours before.  

What in the world could have awakened her?

These are normal statements coming from a toddler or preschooler. When they happen once, we address them with love and empathy and go back to life as normal. But when they occur on a regular basis, we start to wonder what is really going on. When we are functioning in our well-rested, clear-headed, logical-thinking parenting mode (which may not come until after the toddler years are over), we can dissect the problem and address a solution based on our knowledge base. But what about when the problem doesn’t seem to have a “real” cause? When tummy aches are not from something our little one ate or drank, when middle of the night fears are not realistic, or when other tantrums or behaviors seemingly have no cause. Parents in these situations often try every possible solution until they are desperate for the issue to be resolved.

Ironically, there might be a solution that makes no sense at all but can bring peace (and a good night’s sleep) to weary parents and children alike. It isn’t logical, but fortunately it doesn’t require an expensive gadget, a trip to the store, or even a parenting book. It is simple, but the reason it eludes most parents is that it is not always easy to accomplish.

Couch time. Yes, couch time.

What is Couch Time?

The term “couch time, ” also known as couple time was coined by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo many years ago when they noticed many difficult issues with young children were solved by parents having consistent time together in front of their children. 

Trends on how to get your baby to sleep have come and gone, but the principle of parents showing their kids that everything is good with them as a couple is one that stands the test of time. Children crave security. In a world that is constantly changing, they overhear the news, the neighbors, and they are aware there are many things that are unsure. The one thing that brings them great peace is to know their parents love each other and care for one another.

You can do this preemptively as well as to troubleshoot a challenging issue with your child. Typically, when parents arrive home from a long day at work, they divide and conquer. Someone makes dinner, someone else plays with the kids or starts the bedtime routine. Mom and Dad are often in different rooms for much of the evening—except maybe for dinner—until the kids go to bed. So here is where the simple change can begin. Instead of going separate ways when the work day is done, parents sit down on the couch together (side by side, holding hands, just like when you were dating). No devices in sight—start by putting those on mute in a different room. Then talk to each other, not about schedules, appointments, and the kids. But about life, what’s happening at work, dreams and plans, future vacations. Happy stuff. Things that make them smile. Where are the kids during this time? Hopefully right there in the room. Yes, they have to be prepped to not interrupt, and they may need a special “couch time” basket of toys to entertain them during this time. But the point is for your children to see you—their parents—in a loving, kind interaction for ten or fifteen minutes.

If one spouse is traveling, it can be even more important to have this time together in front of the children. Instead of FaceTiming or Skyping the kids first, let them see Mom and Dad having a good conversation first. Letting kids know their parents miss each other and all is well in their relationship goes a long way to avoid discipline issues for the parent stuck at home. The side benefit of all these conversations is they help the couple have a chance to talk in the midst of a busy day and even improve their relationship. That’s something the whole family can get behind.

Told you it wasn’t logical. But it works. Try it for three or four days in a row and see for yourself. Nighttime issues disappear. Tantrums become less frequent. Complaints fade away—all because there is a visual reminder to your child that all is well in their world.

Rachel Macy Stafford is a New York Times bestselling author of “Hands Free Mama” and “Hands Free Life.” Her attempts to let go of what doesn’t matter began when her daughters were young and she realized she was missing so much of their lives because she was distracted by email, the phone and outside commitments. She started her journey to become “Hands Free” with ten minutes a day of attempting to stay present and connected. She found that over time her desire for this time increased and her connection to her daughters did as well. 

It used to be that parents were the only ones distracted by the ping of emails, texts, and phone calls. Now that so many kids seem to have smart phones, they too are distracted by the constant “urgent” pull of notifications, SnapChat streaks, and Instagram updates. The more and more electronically “connected” we are to others in cyberspace, the less connected we can become to those in our physical realm. A recent study correlated the rise in depression to the rise in teen social media consumption. The Child-Mind institute says, “Some experts see the rise in depression as evidence that the connections social media users form electronically are less emotionally satisfying, leaving them feeling socially isolated.”

Rachel offers some great suggestions for parents to make sure they are available for connection with their children. One of the key first steps is to create some daily “hands free” time. Are there times you can agree on as a family to not use (or even have available) electronic devices?

Some of the most crucial times for face-to-face connection are:

• First thing in the morning and right before bed
• During greetings and departures
• At mealtimes 
• While driving 
• During exercise 
• While volunteering 

Stafford recommends putting boundaries around these times and holding that space for genuine connection with those in your presence as opposed to those in your digital world. If we lead by example, our children can follow. We can guide them toward a more genuine connection with others and allow them to exercise their communication muscles in a positive way. 

You may wonder what difference ten minutes can make. It is so easy to brush off a few minutes at a time. But the problem arises when you are busy checking the news while sipping your morning coffee and your daughter walks in to make her breakfast. She doesn’t want to interrupt, so she decides to check her Instagram feed. When you realize you could talk to her for a few minutes before she takes off for school, you look up from the computer to find her nose buried in Instagram. And round and round we go.  So we have to start somewhere. Even if you only make the kitchen a digital free zone, you may find yourself with ample opportunity to catch up with your uber-busy children. The laughter and stories at the dinner table and perhaps even the breakfast table can return. We can be “those parents,” you know, the ones whose kids know they care and desire a relationship with them? Yes. Those parents. It starts with ten minutes a day. 

If I had my choice I would be poolside all summer. There is something about the smell of chlorine, the cool water, and that cement that nearly blisters your feet. It just feels like summer when I’m at a pool. My days at the pool have most definitely changed over the years. Goodbye baby oil, hello sunscreen (and lots of it). Beyond that I have learned that swimming with kids means being involved and aware, not just in making memories, but in keeping my kids safe. If you are looking for ways to make your time at the pool fun for your kids, no matter their age, keep reading.

Babies and Toddlers

The younger a child is when she starts being in the water, the more comfortable she is likely to be in the pool.The American Academy of Pediatrics wants parents to know that because children cannot voluntarily hold their breath for significant amounts of time until the age of four swimming lessons for infants and toddlers do not protect children from drowning. The AAP suggests that pool time for this age should be about exploration and joy. Keep your little one within arm’s reach at all times. Begin slowly, first dripping water on your little one’s toes, then putting feet into the water. If your child is receptive keep going, if not slow it down. Follow your baby’s lead. Try to schedule pool times around nap times, otherwise tears are inevitable. Toys that squirt water are also a big hit for little ones, especially as they develop the muscles necessary to squeeze the toys themselves. As always check with your pediatrician before you introduce your child to the water. He/she may have recommendations based on your child’s individuality and circumstances.

Young Swimmers

At this age children are usually trying to assert their independence. The shallow end, or even a wading pool, is still best for this age group. While they may be feeling confident, it is important that parents are vigilant and completely aware of what their child is doing at all times. Pool games are a great way to interact with your young swimmer while she enjoys the water and you ensure her safety. A few great pool activities for this age-group are:

Ring Toss- Using the classic colored stacking rings game that most toddlers enjoy, set it up to float on the water by using an upside down frisbee. Seated on the edge, they can take turns playing a ring toss game.

Ping Pong Ball Blower– While holding your preschooler have him place his face just above the water and blow the ping pong ball to the side of the pool. This is a great activity to teach kiddos about breath control when in the water and blowing the top of the water/the ball is a precursor to blowing bubbles under the water. 

Sing Along-Whether it be Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, or The Wheels on the Bus holding your child and engaging in a song and repeated movements is a great way of easing them into the water and developing swimming skills with support (floating on their back, kicking their feet, blowing bubbles, etc.). 

Traffic Lights–  Place your child by either a stair or one of the walls – they’ll want to be holding onto something. Once they’re ready, start calling out the colors of a traffic light. Red Light means to stop kicking and simply float there. Yellow Light means to kick slowly and steadily. Green Light means to kick as hard as they can.

Older Swimmers

This is where some of my own very best pool memories were made. Pool games are the gold standard for kids in this age group. Even at this age, swimmers need you in the water with them during the games, so you can act fast if needed. Keep the kids on the shallow steps, and evaluate each swimmer’s ability and comfort level before beginning any swimming games. Keep a close eye on the games to avoid bumps and bruises. 

Call and Respond The swimmer who is “it” must close their eyes and try to find the other swimmers. When “it” says the name of an animal, all of the swimmers must make the noise of that animal. For example, if the animal named is a lion, all the other swimmers must roar.  Once someone making an animal sound is tagged, they become the new “it.”

Sharks and Minnows The person playing the role of the shark stands in the middle of the pool. When that person says “Go!” all other swimmers (the minnows) swim away as fast as possible. Any minnows that are tagged become sharks and must try to help turn other minnows into sharks.

What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?– One person is Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox stands at the end of the pool. All other swimmers are at the other end of the pool. Swimmers yell “What time is it, Mr. Fox?” Mr. Fox gives a time and swimmers must move that many steps forward. For example, giving the time of 5 o’clock means everyone must move five steps forward. At any time Mr. Fox can respond “lunchtime!” All swimmers must then try to swim back to their starting line. Whoever gets tagged is the new Mr. Fox.

Simon Says: Have children spread out in the pool. The supervising adult will be “Simon” of the game. Simon will call out an action, like “Simon says, float on your back”, everyone should do what is asked. When he calls out an action without saying “Simon says”, the player to do the action will be eliminated from the pool. The winner will be the last standing kid in the water.

Safety

A day at the pool is a day filled with fun, but it is important to remember that, with kids in tow, it isn’t going to be you poolside relaxing with a book or magazine. A day at the pool with children requires your full attention and engagement. When you look at it as quality time with your children, a time when you are free from technology and can enjoy being outdoors… It can be pretty magical. Plus, your little ones are sure to sleep like rocks after a day in the water.

Here are a few additional safety tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics to help you keep your children safe while swimming.

Swim Safety Tips

Swim Programs for Infants and Toddlers

Tailored Guidelines for the Prevention of Drowning

Are you having trouble getting your kids off the couch? Do you want your children to make better grades in school? Be more physically active? Join a sports team? Or participate in a service project?

Motivating a child or teenager isn’t always easy, but if you follow the three steps below you are almost guaranteed to discover a whole new child:

1. Use a reward system. Kids are always being told what they are doing wrong, but very rarely are they being told daily what they are doing right. All people, kids and adults, are far more motivated to “do the right thing” when there is a positive reward for their work.

Tip:

• Make 50 “tickets” out of paper, or buy a bundle of tickets at your local store.
• Sit down with your kids and ask them what would be 5 exciting things for them to do (go to a movie, go out for ice cream, their favorite restaurant, an amusement park, etc…).
• Then share with them a specific “reward system” (each time you see them put their dirty clothes away without being asked, they get a ticket. If they get an improved grade in any class, they get 10 tickets. For every 30 minutes they kick a ball or do any physical activity, they get 5 tickets. Etc…
• Don’t punish or criticize your kids for anything for the next several weeks. Only reward them for the things they do well. And do your best to find many things they are doing well.
• Follow through with your rewards – and have a blast.

2. Turn off all electronics. Yes, you read this correctly. Televisions, video games, iPods, cell phones and computers are the #1 reason kids are sucked into the black hole of entertainment and have zero motivation to accomplish…just about anything. Use the TV and video games as rewards after your children have accomplished a goal. Your kids will declare war on you the first few weeks you pull the plugs, but it only takes 21 days to form new habits. And sooner than later your children will discover that reading a book, riding a bicycle, painting, swinging a tennis racquet, good grades and service projects are a lot of fun. Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, says “The average child these days spends over 20 hours watching television, but only minutes spending quality time with their parents.” Do what you can to avoid contributing to this statistic.

3. Be the leader. Show don’t tell. How do you expect your child to be motivated to get off the couch and ride a bicycle if you are not riding a bicycle yourself? If you want your kids to be more physically active, take them straight to a park after school and kick a ball with them. You are the leader of your family. It is up to you to set the tone and be the best example of what a positive attitude and motivation looks like.

Every child and teenager is motivated to do something. It is the parent’s job to bring the best out of them. By eliminating distractions (electronics), rewarding their efforts and by leading by example you are guaranteed to see change in your children. Change doesn’t happen overnight. So be patient. Be positive. And never give up on your kids.

One day I invited my daughter to join me in taking dinner to Scottie. “Mommy, why doesn’t Scottie have any feet? How does Scottie play soccer? Why is he in a wheelchair?” I knew her inquisitive mind would ask questions about Scottie – and I was ready to give her the answers. At first she was intimidated by Scottie’s wheelchair and the fact that he looked different than everybody else. But after 3-4 visits to their home, my daughter and Scottie were two peas in a pod. My daughter started drawing pictures “just for Scottie”, asked to call him to say goodnight, and she even invited him to her birthday party.

On Christmas Eve of 2009, Scottie was admitted to ICU for pneumonia. My daughter overheard me on the phone with my church asking to help raise money for his medical bills. My daughter came into my room with several pieces of paper wrapped like presents with “SARAH” scribbled on the front. “What’s this, honey?” I asked. “Since Sarah and Scottie need money, I took all of the money from my piggy bank to give them. It’s in here. Can we take it to the hospital and give it to them?” Conley asked.

The most effective way for a child to learn compassion is for them to follow their parent’s lead. If mom reaches out to a person in need, the children will follow suit. If dad is involved in regular charity events, the kids will too.

Bring your kids along for the ride. Take them to the soup kitchens, the homeless shelters and get them involved in fund-raisers. How do you expect your children to be compassionate if you are not compassionate, giving and non-judgmental yourself? A compassionate child starts with a compassionate parent.

Dr. Janice Cohn, author of “Raising Compassionate Children In a Violent World”, spent years researching kids who were involved in helping people in need and the parents of these children.  She said there was one clear common denominator in every case: “Each child had parents or other crucial role models who either taught them the importance of compassion and courage by example or unequivocally supported the children’s instincts to respond to people who needed help” Dr. Cohn noted.

Dr. Cohn also says, “When people develop into compassionate, caring human beings, it not only benefits society but also promotes personal happiness and higher self-esteem as well.”

Children are incredibly bright creatures. It’s human nature for parents to avoid wanting their children to spend time with a person in need in fear that they might ask an “embarrassing” question. But we need to realize that those questions kids ask are awesome opportunities for parents to teach their children that there are a zillion people in the world who talk, walk and look different than us. And they are our friends.

Who are three people or organizations in your town who need your help? Make a plan to take your family (kids included) to serve these people in a special way. You might have one of the most special family outings your have ever had in your entire life!

You don’t have to spend $3000 on a trip to Disneyland to have meaningful, family fun. Here are 30 ways your family can have quality fun, every day, without busting the budget:

1. Feed the ducks
2. Build a sand castle
3. Go bicycle riding
4. Play a card game
5. Solve a puzzle
6. Go on a picnic
7. Cook dinner together
8. Serve at your local soup kitchen together
9. Kick a ball at the local park
10. Fly a kite
11. Build a model car
12. Put on a theater performance in your living room
13. Sing karaoke
14. Go on a family walk
15. Have a lemonade stand
16. Play a board game
17. Play musical instruments
18. Play “Hide and Seek”
19. Go listen to live music
20. Tell jokes. Laugh. Then laugh some more. 
21. Turn your dining room table into a ping pong table
22. Make a piece of art for a special occasion
23. Adopt a child for the holidays
24. Create your own version of “American Idol” or “Dancing with the Stars”
25. Start a garden of vegetables or flowers
26. Paint a room or piece of furniture together
27. Go to a local museum
28. Pick up a new sport: tennis, badminton, ping pong, pool, bowling…to name a few.
29. Take photos of each other and make a photo book
30. Laugh. And laugh some more.